Misfortune of a flea's control
by Rika Croft
Summary: Miroku is stuck on Sesshomaru....Literaly, read and find out.
1. In the Begging there was Sesshomaru

Disclaimer: we do not own any of the Inuyasha characters... but if we did... ahhh, but if we did, think of the possibilities.

Rina: Anybody who is disturbed by perverted stuff... turn back now. (Looks at Rika)

Rika: What!!! I was tired!

Misfortune of a Flea's Control Chapter one 

Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken were walking through the snowy mountains towards Sesshomaru's lair. Sesshomaru was his usual emotionless self.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" the happy Rin asked, " There are we going?" Sesshomaru didn't answer.

"Of course we're going to the evil lair, the evil lair to rule them all!" screamed Jaken.

Sesshomaru paused, only to be ran into by Jaken.

" what is it my lord?" the toad asked.

_There is something near, _Sesshomaru thought, before turning to Rin and Jaken.

"Stay here, and Jaken if anything happens to Rin, you will die."

Sesshomaru went out alone to see what was going on. His only thought, which no one could hear was, _must save Rin... Screw Jaken! (not that way people!!!!)_

Sesshomaru watched with keen eyes but saw nothing, he listened with sharp ears but heard nothing, but his fluffy senses were tingling. On the back of his neck he felt something puncture and he knew nothing more. After a while of thorough searching, he realised it must have been his imagination. His senses stopped tingling and he returned to Rin and Jaken.

Night had already fallen when they had reached Sesshomaru's lair. Sesshomaru, after reading a bed time story to Rin, went to bed himself, but was feeling slightly uneasy. Finding it pointed to continue, trying to sleep, Sesshomaru got up and left to stand outside. All of a sudden, something came over him, _must see Miroku! _he thought.

Running at top speed through the mountains, he entered, Inuyasha's Forest. _Miroku, Miroku, _was all that he could think about.

Inuyasha woke up with the scent of his brother's approach. Looking around he saw a white streak heading towards Kaede's hut.

"Damn it, what's Sesshomaru doing here now!" said Inuyasha taking off after his brother. "Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru did not turn or even acknowledge his brother's presence. Inuyasha followed Sesshomaru's scent to Miroku's room and found them making out.

Shock, Shock, Surprise, Surprise! "My brother's a girl!" Inuyasha said right before he fainted.

"I knew he'd come around," said Miroku between breaths.

"What an I doing!" asked Sesshomaru for once a surprised look crossing his face, "what am I doing here?"

"don't worry my darling, just come back to kissing me." Said Miroku.

"Ahhhhh!" Sesshomaru screamed a high pitched scream , quickly covering his mouth, as no to seem like a girl.

All of a sudden something came over Sesshomaru, "must see Inuyasha," he chanted. Inuyasha's face contorted into a look of pure terror, as Sesshomaru came in to kiss him.

End of Chapter 1!

Rika: Cliffy, Cliffy (as Rina throw's a chair at her)

Rina: Oh well I know what's happening any way.

Rika: But you don't heheheh!

Rina: Read and Review peep!

Rika: Please we're desperate!

Rina: we should make a bloopers section.

Rika: Hahahahah! Screw Jaken!! Inuyass! Heheheh!


	2. You do know that, that has alcohol?

Chapter 2 Chapter 1 Summary All of a sudden something came over Sesshomaru," Must see Inuyasha," he chanted. Inuyasha's face contorted into a look of pure terror as Sesshomaru came in to kiss Inuyasha. 

"Ahhh!" screamed Inuyasha, but was silenced by Sesshomaru's mouth on his. "What's going on Inuyasha?" asked Kagome as she spotted the two brothers in a lip lock. "First Kikyo, now this, no, this is worse at least when you were with Kikyo she wasn't related to you and she was, she was a girl!" Kagome left the room crying.

Hearing Kagome's upset tone, Sango went into check on her. When she spotted Inuyasha struggling to free himself from his demon half brother, which was trying yet again to kiss him. "Miroku! What have you done?" Sango started beating Miroku with Hirikutsu.

Inuyasha, finally escaping his brothers lip lock, turned to Sango, " Stop beating on Miroku, and hit Sesshomaru a few times to knock some sense into him!"

Sango turned and hit Sesshomaru over the head three times at her hardest with Hirikutsu before he finally fell unconscious, and from his brother.

"What are we going to do with him?" asked Sango.

"I don't care!" Inuyasha said, " Kagome! Where's the Listerine! I've just been kissed by my brother!"

" Inuyasha, I know that! You're cheating on me! Again!"

"Kagome just tell me where the fucking Listerine is!"

"Find it your damn self! SIT!"

As Inuyasha plummeted to the ground, Sango with the help of Miroku dragged fluffy into a closet. Being sure to lock the door and boar it with much wood.

Hearing the thud, Miroku and Sango explained to Kagome.

"Sesshomaru, for some unknown reason, ran into the house and started to make out with both Miroku and Inuyasha," Sango explained.

"Well, in that case," said Kagome with a mischievous look in the eyes. She ran over to the closet, pulled it opened in one swipe and started slapping Sesshomaru senseless.

To Kagome and Inuyasha' horror, Sesshomaru woke up. Inuyasha dashed to the other side of the room, drawing his tetsaiga, Sesshomaru looked at Kagome's raised hand then to his brother in complete and utter confusion.

And, then, to everyone's surprise, he just walked away with that calm look on his face. But, then all of a sudden. His head started to twitch! He turned around and whom should he spot, but the lovely demon slayer Sango.

His eyes turned a pinkish color instead of his usual demonic read. He walked towards Sango who had an utter look of horror, on her face.

" What the hell is wrong with you? First you're you then your not you. Look I know I wanted a nicer brother, but this is ridiculous," said Inuyasha.

"Sango, back away slowly!" advised Kagome as Fluffy advanced on her.

"Slowly, screw slowly! RUN!" Inuyasha yelled.

"No!" said Kagome, "you'll startle him!"

"Get behind me!" Miroku said, "his kiss isn't that bad" he muttered after.

"Miroku, you hentai!" as Sango whipped around to stop Miroku for his perverted thoughts, Sesshomaru took his chance and swooped in for the kiss.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Sango as she closed her eyes and waited for the impact, but it never came. She blinked open an eye. Miroku and Sesshomaru were kissing.

"Like I said," commented Miroku, "He's not that bad!"

Inuyasha stared at the lecherous monk," You know…"

"What?" Kagome asked.

"I thought Miroku did weird shit in the past, but this takes the cake."

"Yah." They all said in unison, except Miroku.

"Where am I?…Ahhh, get off of me you lecherous monk!" screamed Sesshomaru, "I'm getting out of this insane asylum!"

"We're insane?" Inuyasha questioned, "You're the one trying to kiss and make out with everyone!"

"I have no idea what you are speaking of!" Sesshomaru said calmly.

"So, you don't remember, umm, lets see, kissing Miroku, then me, being stuffed in a closet, and then trying to kiss Sango! Is that what you are telling me?" Inuyasha cried, "I don't know about you, Sesshomaru, but it would take a lot to make me forget all that!"

"I…I…kissed Inuyasha! Kagome! Where's the scope?" screamed Sesshomaru.

"You can see they are related!" commented Sango as Sesshomaru ran around the room wiping his tongue, and Kagome looked for the scope.

"You know, Sesshomaru is only mean to Inuyasha and Jaken of course, maybe he isn't such a bad guy after all." Kagome said pulling a bottle of scope out of her backpack, "here Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru took it and drank the whole thing.

"You know, you're only supposed to take a little bit, rinse and spit. It does contain alcohol."

"I just kissed my brother, I need alcohol." Sesshomaru replied calmly.


	3. Does this make my butt look big?

Chapter 3 

Chapter 2 summary

_Sesshomaru took it and drank the whole thing._

_"You know, you're only supposed to take a little bit, rinse and spit. It does contain alcohol."_

_"I just kissed my brother! I need alcohol!" Sesshomaru replied calmly._

"Whatever," said Kagome. Sesshomaru looked as his brother and shuddered, "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me!"

"Yah, just letting me kiss you."

"I didn't let you kiss me, you took me by force! I was raped!"

"Did we really go that far?" Sesshomaru asked, the first time in his life, showing surprise.

"We got close enough!" Shouted Inuyasha

"Lecherous Monk, what the hell are you doing?" Sesshomaru roared.

"Now you know what it feels like," said Sango, as Miroku rubbed Sesshomaru's butt, but! He was rubbing him with his wind tunnel hand and Sesshomaru's butt became stuck in Miroku's hand.

"Ahhh!" screamed Sesshomaru, "this day keeps getting worse and worse!"

"I need your help," admitted Sessy.

"I think we should go see Keade," suggested Kagome, "She can help us with this kissing problem, as well as Miroku's hand."

"One problem," said Sessy, " I'm not going out like this," he pointed to Miroku's hand.

"I think I can fix that!" said Kagome with a mischievous look in her eyes.

Se went into the next room and came back with a long Kimono and hair sticks. "Sesshomaru, go put this on, and then come out so I can do your hair."

Sessy glared at her, " you expect me to put that on!"

"It's either that or go out looking like a gay couple, which do you prefer?" Sango asked

"Fine, but, you better blind fold the monk while I change," Said Sessy.

Sango took out her hair tie and tied it over the monk's eyes. Then Sesshomaru headed into the change room.

After a Few minuets……………..

"Stupid Monk!"

"Owww!"

"Keep your blind fold on!"

"Don't touch me"

An hour later………………………

"Stop it!"

Bang, Boom, Clatter

"Owww?

"You think their done yet?" Said Sango as she read her magazine.

"Maybe we should go check on them?" said Kagome.

All eye's on Inuyasha.

"What, why me?" Inuyasha asked.

"He's your bother!" Sango said

"Oh, and we've been such good brothers over the years!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Inuyahsa!" said Kagome, " If you don't go, I'll say the word."

Inuyasha growled and walked toward the changing room, " Are you two done yet? You've been in there for over and hour." When no answer came, Inuyasha walked into the changing room.

"What the hell are you doing!" Sesshomaru yelled.

"OWW!" Inuyasha called/

"Inuyasha you're kicking me!" Miroku cried.

"SHUT UP!" both brothers cried in unison.

Inuyasha came out of the change room dragging Miroku and Sessy, who was dressed in a pretty pink Kimono. Because Sessy wasn't a girl (yes people! He really is a guy!) He had to wear one of Kagome's bra's stuffed with socks.

"You're breasts are too big woman!" Cried Sesshomaru after they had to stuff each basket with four our five socks. Kagome turned bright red.

"Now, sit…." Boom " wait that won't work… Ah I'll get a couple of chairs and we can do your hair." Kagome said happily while Inuyasha growled in the background. Kagome came back with a chair and her brush, and some make up. Standing on the chair she started to brush out Sesshomaru's hair. "Wow, your hair had no tangle or split ends, you must take very good care of it."

Sesshomaru said nothing. Kagome grabbed all of his hair and did twirls and twists before putting the hair sticks in place.

"Now… for the make up!"


	4. Girls don't Carry Swords

Chapter 4 Chapter

3 summary

_Sesshomaru said nothing. Kagome grabbed all of his hair and did twirls and twists before putting the hair sticks in place, "Now for the make-up!"_

"Make-up, Onna you must be crazy! This Sesshomaru wears no make-up!"

"Oh just shut up; Sango what colors should we do?" asked Kagome.

"I think we should do pink eye shadow and lipstick," Sango suggested.

"Lipstick?" Sesshomaru asked.

"And foundation to cover up those marks, a monk with a demon just doesn't fit," Kagome said. She took out her foundation and started to cover up his demon markings.

After an hour of pulling and applying Sessy was done!

"He He Ha Ha, You look so funny!" exclaimed Inuyasha.

"You know," said Kagome, "That was so much fun, we should put make-up on you guys sometime."

Inuyasha's laughter immediately stopped, "That's not funny."

"Now about the boa…" Kagome picked it up and twirled it around his neck, " Now we're done."

Sesshomaru went to go grab Tokeijin and Tensaiga but Kagome smacked his hand, "girls don't wear swords."

"How will I defend myself?" asked Sesshomaru.

"Leave that to Inuyasha," said Kagome.

"I'm not going to be protected by my little brother," Sesshomaru protested.

"Like I said, It's either that or look like a gay guy," tempted Kagome.

"Well can I at least carry a bow and arrows, or a boomerang like Sango?" pleaded Sesshomaru.

"Do you even know how to use them?" Kagome asked

"You guys do, it can't be that hard," Sesshomaru commented.

"Excuse me!" shouted Sango, " Here, try carrying it for an hour!"

"Fine!" Said Sessy.

Sango smirked and gave Sesshomaru the Hirakutse. Sessy glanced at her, "You think this is heavy? Humans really are weak." He started to tremble with anger, " Keep your other hand off me monk."

"I'm sorry, but those breasts look so realistic!" defended Miroku.

In a matter of seconds Miroku was on the ground, Sessy's poison claws in his face.

"Wait, Kill me and you have to walk around with a decaying corpse attached to your behind," Miroku pointed out.

"Since it's you monk, I wouldn't mind you as a corpse!"

"Didn't expect that answer," Miroku mumbled, "But I might suck you into the wind tunnel if you kill me."

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?"

"I've never left a damsel in distress," said Miroku. Sessy gave a low growl.

"Look, once we've fixed this, you two will be separated and we will fight," Inuyasha said standing over them.

"It's going to be a while, might as well sit down," Kagome said to Sango jus as Inuyasha fell face first into Sessy and Miroku.

"Opps, sorry Inuyasha," Said Kagome as Sango sweat dropped. Waiting for a few minutes for the spell to wear off Inuyasha pulled himself off of his brother and Miroku.

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha shouted, "THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!"

"Well maybe you should take your own advice!" countered Kagome.

"I do!" Inuyasha said taking a step towards Kagome right on to his brother.

"SIT"

BANG

"Kagome!" Screamed Inuyasha s he sot up, but everyone was too busy looking at Sessy; he was fixing his bra.

"I don't think I could loose any more of my dignity," Sesshomaru growled.

"We should do your nails!" Kagome shouted with excitement in her voice.

"I stand corrected1" Sesshomaru said angrily, " Yes, I do admit I was wrong. Live it up people cuz it won't happen that often."

"Oh come on, It's be fun, but… I only have pink." Said Kagome

"Oh brother." Sesshomaru whispered to himself.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha asked.

"Not you half-breed," Sesshomaru replied calmly.

"Better that being half-gender!" Inuyasha sneered.

"You mention this ever again, and I'll slice you into so many pieces, you won't be able to put yourself together."

"Stop it!" Kagome shouted. "Do you want our help or not?" Kagome asked grabbing Sesshomaru's hands and started applying pink nail polish.

Sesshomaru blinked in surprise, " What are you doing woman?"

"Painting your nail," Kagome replied, "stop squirming or it's going to look horrible."

"Like I care!" said Sesshomaru.

"This is disgusting women, can't you put nail polish on!"

"Stop whining fluffy," Said Inuyasha.

"Call me that again and die!"

"Hey, come to think of it we need to think of a name for you!" Kagome.

Rika- Well just to warn you, Sesshomaru doesn't get a name in the next chapter, and still doesn't have one! (Look's at Rina) If you have any ideas tell us!

Mnpoky, see ya'll next chapter!


	5. Paparazzi!

_Chapter 4: _

"_This is disgusting woman, can't you put nail polish on!"_

"_Stop whining fluffy," said Inuyasha._

"_Call me that again and die!"_

"_Hey, come to think of it, we need to think of a name for you!" said Kagome._

Chapter 5

"Hell no!" Sesshomaru growled.

"Well if you want people to know you're the lord of the western lands dressed like a girl with a perverted monk attached to your ass, than go ahead," Inuyasha replied.

"Who would know that I'm the lord of the western lands, as long as you don't say my name; anyway, no one knows I'm here," said Sesshomaru, "lets go." Sesshomaru stepped up to the door.

" Is that you lord Sesshomaru?" blink blink, "why are you dressed like a girl?" flash flash. Sesshomaru slammed the door closed.

"Oh, no! It's the paparazzi!"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Don't you dare," Sesshomaru glared over at Inuyasha.

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it," said Inuyasha

"How did they find out you were here anyway?" asked Kagome.

"HEHEHEHEH!" all eyes on Inuyasha.

"SIT!" Kagome was so angry; Inuyasha could almost see her on fire. "We're trying to keep this a secret, you know, this DISASTER!" She screamed pointing at Sesshomaru and Miroku, "You know, I'm starting to find your brother much more sophisticated and friendly than you, and that's saying a lot considering he's tried to kill me!"

"Don't involve me in your lovers quarrel," Sesshomaru said in his calm voice.

"Do you want me to start yelling at you!' Kagome asked. Sesshomaru smirked. SMACK!

Sessy's eyes went wide, " She just slapped me!"

"And if you don't shut up, I'll slap you again!"

'And I was curious how my brother put up with her?' Sesshomaru thought.

"So…" said Sango, " how'll we get out of here with these people outside?"

"Well, we're going to have to kill them," said Sesshomaru, "If we don't, it'll be on the morning news."

Blink Blink, "What's the 'morning news?'" Miroku asked.

"Well…" started Sesshomaru, " Oh forget it, I'm too lazy to explain it to you poor folk."

"All of you!" yelled Sango, "out the back door!"

"Since when do we have a backdoor?" Inuyasha asked. Sesshomaru smirked. "What are you…" Inuyasha asked Sessy, when all of a sudden he was picked up and thrown through the back wall.

"Now we have a back door," Sesshomaru replied stepping through the hole in the wall, " let's go!'

"Why you!" started Inuyasha, but was interrupted by Kagome.

"Don't argue, just go before they realize we're not here!"

Sesshomaru led the way down the path. After five minutes of strange stares from villagers they reached Keade's (sp?) hut.

"Hurry up!" warned Inuyasha, " I think our little entourage is catching up!"

They walked into the hut as Keade was preparing stew. "Kagome, your back, it's nice to see ye again," Keade offered Kagome a seat next to her, "Miroku, you've brought your girlfriend for dinner?"

Sesshomaru's eye's narrowed and Miroku blushed. From behind them Inuyasha burst into laughter again. "It's, It's…" Inuyasha tried to calm down, "It's my brother!" Inuyasha burst into laughter again.

"Oh my," said Keade after they had told her the whole story, " this is a serious dilemma."

"Is there any way we can fix it?" asked Kagome.

"Well Miroku's had can be easily fixed by his grandfathers friend, ye know the old monk," said Keade.

" But that's at least 7 days from here! Even with Kirara!" Commented Sango, " besides, Kirara can't carry all of us!"

" It appears we'll have to walk there," said Miroku.

Rika: Hello all, Sorry it took so long, I accidentally lost the story book heheh 

ANY WAY… I'd like to thank every one for all the great reviews that we've received, and we hope that you continue reading our story. I'd also like to mention that it's really annoying when people correct our grammar our spelling. We promise that we try our best to correct it before we post it up, and it's a bit insulting when someone corrects us. So, for now if you don't have a comment about the story, please don't write anything. Oh and no flames please! Thanx all for reading! (,).(,)


	6. Sessy's House Theme Song

Chapter 5 review 

" _It appears we'll have to walk there," said Miroku_

Chapter 6

"As long as no one knows who I am, that will be fine," said Sesshomaru, calmly.

"This 'kissing' problem though," said Keade, " is a whole different story; I believe that you are being possessed by a flea demon."

"Got that right," said a voice, " I am a flea demon, and I'm never leaving this juicy specimen!"

Sesshomaru's eyes went wide. 'It all makes since' he thought, 'the demon aura, the puncture on my neck; it was all this bastard flea!' Sesshomaru made a move to swipe at his neck, but was stopped by Keade.

"No Sesshomaru," she warned, " Ye mustn't agitate it, or it will burrow deeper and become impossible to remove."

"Do you know how to fix this?" asked Sesshomaru seething with anger.

"I have seen this condition before, but no, I don't know hot to remove it, " admitted Keade.

" I suppose this means I must go to my palace and search for the cure in my library," said Sesshomaru.

"So we are actually going to the evil lair, the evil lair to rule them all!" Shippo cried.

' What is it with little people and evil lairs?' Sesshomaru thought to himself, 'must be 'small body, small brain.'' "What you actually think you're coming to my house?" said Sesshomaru, " well… fine you can come, but you must sing the Sessy house theme song (that reminds me. America theme song HAHA our class is so stupid )! On three! One, two, three!"

Sessy's house is a really cool house

The only one I need

It's the house for me!

Sessy's house is where I live

All other houses are lame

It puts them all to shame!

I only live in houses that are beautiful

That is because they have to look like me

That way I know I get good houses for sure

You may think I have a shallow mind

But you can kiss my behind!

Sessy's house it consumes my life

And the is probably why, I'll never have a wife

Sessy's house has awesome stuff

And that is probably why, I am so very tuff! (Haha I know I spelled it wrong lol)

I always want to see all my stuff

It's the only stuff that I will see

Oh sure one day it may go to my brain

You may think I smell like poo

But I'm here to say screw you!

Sessy's house on the corner of first and main

It's across from a big plane (yes, plane not plain)

It just drives me insane

It is Sessy's house number 10

Must destroy the world again

Right here from my own den.

Hopefully it will do just fine

I don't know why I continue to live here

They'll be remodeling my house until the end of time

Oh I guess I'll have to pay

My mortgage until dooms day!

That's all for now folk! lol k so incase you were wondering, the song is actually a parody from a final fantasy song that you'll be able to find on this site: http/ for making you all wait so long for the next chapter but I lost the book again lol! I won't be updating the next chapter until I get 20 reviews or more, so click the little button when you're done reading and write a comment or two, it's not that hard! Okay I also wanted to say that after about the 8th chapter it might take a while to update since we haven't written that far yet. We should probably have it done before the summer, but we've got exams and school and all that annoying stuff.

Hehe about the theme song thing. Well, we were in class and our teacher started playing the Workers Union song or something or other, when all of a sudden some kid in the back shouts, " Hey isn't that the American Theme Song?" LOL.

Chair hits head

Uh, Oh, Rina's home and it looks like we're out of catnip!

All right, see you guys next update ;D


	7. The End of the Line

Author's note

Alright...

so to all the fans of this story, you have been awesome!!! I 3 u guys soo much, but unfortunately this story has gotta come to an end. Me and Rina go to different schools now, so it's been really hard for us to find the time to write, so this is pretty much it. I really hate to disapoint you guys but there's no way we're going to be able to finish this story. I think that there is about 1 more chapter left that we have written. I'll try my best to find it and put it up. Sorry!!!!!! thank-you soo much for your great reviews.


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